@goyacobol
I always liked and listened to rap music since being a youngster, it being the first genre of music preferred in my life. I don't think explicit music and language is a bad thing in and of itself but I do know others might take offense at it. I guess I've 'found meaning in this chaos' having listened to this sort of music, as well as other kind of music, not only that I am enjoying and liking it, but it feels like the world had something that I could be drawn too that resonated within me. For me, listening to good beats and flow stimulates my brain in ways that have made me go forward where "thought states" seemed to hold me otherwise "frozen". I guess that's the power of rhythm. As far as these rappers having something you should be paying attention to, I just don't know, you would have to ask one of them.
I had a copy of political ponerlogy and tried to read it, this was many years ago, but I found the book to be very hard to grok, being too advanced for my literacy. I don't have the book anymore, in fact I don't have any books except a cooking book and a driving book. I used to have books, half of them from redpillpress/QFG, but I displaced them outside my home many years ago. I first came across Cassiopaea when I were 13 years old, (specifically, a piece of Cassiopaean transcripts), so this has always been here for me. Also I have had two previous usernames, I joined before I was 18 but never told my age back then.
I have a hard time with remembering data, and I can't pursue reading books for that purpose, it really doesn't work for me. But its great for expanding my views. For instance I can read something and forget the content data, and later read it again and feel familiar and also remember concepts and ideas from the overall work. I like to think I learn pieces of things here and there.
I think I have learned things from this forum, be it either information, even language, or concepts and ideas. Yet I never really confirmed all data within my "fact-o-meter" (I just made that word up), but I probably have the right idea of what they are. For example take 'external considering', I never really got any idea of what it means more than just consider people, and perhaps our knowledge of them, and the overall situation and make good decisions on how to act with good intent(Or have I misunderstood this completely?). Another thing is Densities, I have no way of, as I am sure most of you, what it is exactly. But it has always been in the back of my mind, so it's just like 'it just is there'.
I view this forum as 'the good guys' and these rappers as the 'the bad yet good guys'. And these two have much the same importance to me and has been.
Yet I don't feel like I have an inner process of all things on here that I utilize in day to day situations. But I never had any problems with anyone in my social life, at least what I would consider problems. Perhaps it is just where I live, but I never had to "deal" with anyone, and the people I do get to know, all seem fine to me. For me it has always been me having issues struggling within myself but now I feel really good and have felt so for a while.
There was a period in my life where I dumped all things out from my head, including Cassiopaea. But what I really think happened was that I changed or put away my interpretations up to that point, or at least put them somewhere else in my mind. I went a little nuts but it was a mental episode I went through, simply.