By definition of doing a thing on instinct means that it was done without conscious thought. I mentioned the low road from the wave. That's the part of the brain that acts, without us choosing, only to later "fill in the blanks" with a reason why. The split brain experiments show the same issue with reasoning and choice.
You replied to me when I asked what exactly is STO, when we do things and choose to work hard on what we want. Forgive me but I was raised catholic and when I felt the need to question why we do things, the response of "doing good for the sake of good" was pretty much the same thing.
Maybe I'm dissapointed when I can't pose a doubt without being told that.
Of course, I'm upset about life. Why would that be a question here in the first place? If anyone was satisfied with the way things were on earth, they wouldn't be here. They would remain catholics, jews, muslims, etc. We're here because we want a better world. Did you give up your career in your home country because it was the fun thing to do?
Once brain chemicals are produced it takes good amount of time to subside. During this time emotional center feeds intellectual center and often we come up with different reasons all justify the emotion. Some may be valid enquirers that you want to get it out of your system as safely as possible(without impacting others), but often we identify with tree in the forest in this stage. Do some physical exercise until you get sweat or EE or beat the pillow whichever suits you. Aim is to remove to extra charge of the anger. There are some things that are in our control and other not.
At work, we know every body complains of others for one thing or other. Of course, people does it to their boss and often they hear "Thank you for letting us know, Why don't you come up a plan to fix it or fix it". You bet, that is the end of the discussion.
. Often we hear people say "this is very easy , he or she is not doing it". Fixing any thing involves dealing with 9 yards of human relations, which is not easy. even if you fix it, you still hear complaints.
Yes, there are millions of motivational literature ( written decades of research and validation) that gives you gives wonderful tips which works some time, some circumstances. Expecting it work all the times every circumstances and make us live in peaceful bliss is unrealistic and self defeating. That doesn't mean every thing is waste. I understand we live in a trigger happy instant communication age which gives a magical impression that "Understanding is automatic" and push the ball on the other side with "All or nothing thinking". If we learned every thing we wouldn't be here.
It took me some time to see difference between aggressiveness vs assertiveness, though I had a feedback that my behavior is not "aggressiveness" but my mind keep saying that "I am dissatisfying others so I am aggressive". We hope things are clear before we act, but often we end up in thought loops of "analysis paralysis" which itself triggers chemicals. Luckily, All are learning experiences and that eases the pressure for that time being, once learned and you can expect some thing new to come out in the world. Open to the assumption that "We are wrong and other's can be correct even if we don't see as of know" and trust that we can gather information and implement it will go a long way. Accepting our mistakes tend to be toughest challenge for all us.
Take your time, let it out of your system safely and see what you can learn from it.
. Often we hear people say "this is very easy , he or she is not doing it". Fixing any thing involves dealing with 9 yards of human relations, which is not easy. even if you fix it, you still hear complaints.